I know that it's impossible for the both of us to be together again this life. How I wish I were the girl you truly wanted. I really did mean then we were going to be together forever, I really knew it too.
But reality is so hard now. Anyways, next time if I see you with another girl I know you will be happy. And what matters most is your happiness. I'm probably going to still have feelings for you for a very long time, even if people think I'm stupid to wait for nothing at all. I going to do just that because I really believe and trust our love. Next life, we will be together again. There will come to a point this life when we stop talking completely. My heart will break more than what it is now, but I will always remember, it's for your happiness.

I'm sorry if I cannot bring you that happiness anymore :'( I'm sorry.

I have no regrets even up till today (:
Cuz if I had let you go, I would never know.
What my life would be holding you close to me.
My life with you was great, I'll never get that same feeling again. I'm sure you won't too. Even with somebody else it will be different. But yeah, my prayers got answered just that I dent see it till now.

Cuz now j, I'm glad that you are much happier. That was the only thing I chanted for. So everything was worth it in the end even though there was much pain.
Still, I really miss you.

You ever told me before that you like re-reading our messages. I really do, too now. Secretly :D

:') will always be chanting for your happiness.

You are irreplacable.

No one will ever understand this special feeling I've got. That deep down I know that you still do care for me.

There's this special place in my heart that belongs to you, no matter what happens. Cuz memories itself, of us, together are enough for me. Enough for me this life.

I only want you to be happy, even if I'm can't be by your side. Your smile lights up my world like nobody else. :D yeah, I truly wish you happiness. I'll try to stay happy too so you won't worry about me, love.

What is true happiness?

Wise words from my daddy (: if you do not encounter any problems in life, how would you know what is true happiness? Yes! I must be strong no matter how alone I feel now. I must not fall. If I do, how can I bring happiness to people??? The Mystic Law is truly mystical. Again and again I encounter hardships and difficulties, but only with full faith will I have the wisdom and strength to overcome my obstacles. I love bringing people happiness and hearing from them that I made them happy is the greatest thing that I can hear this life. (: of course I'll stay happy too so I won't make my loved ones worry about me. I miss my listening ears ); where have they gone to. Sigh. I miss last year a lot ):

I didnt know I had to let you go

Who knows what will happen next. I think I'm falling for you. It was all wrong timing ): if only I could turn back time and stop the world from turnin. If only I had more time to get over shit and you were willing to wait. I wish u happiness forever. :D Love, herm.

Happy first <3 :') it's not a sad thing, I'm just happy I met you in this life. as I saw your back view this morning, you are ever so charming.. how I wished I could just be back in your arms again. I guess some things stay forever, like memories. I hope you'll be happy as we walk down different paths in life, cuz only then I'll be happy too. Missing you more than words can describe. I never regretted this very day on year ago (:

What seemed so dear, precious and miraculous has now become alien, distant. It's a dead end after all.

I'm touched how some people still see that relationship... I wanna tell them youre wrong. The one that was perfect to me but now unrequited love.
Now I really see how we were meant to be together :') things wasnt perfect we were full of flaws but it's all that I wanted.
It really isn't a regret it was just my biggest loss.
These few days made me ralise I need to have you in my life even as a friend. ):

& I really don't know why we became like this. It's simple I'm
always happy with you. To me that's all that matters miss you till my heart really breaks everytime I think of you.

): my best friend. How do I live the rest of my life without u being a part of it? ):

Even though I already know this life we will never be together anymore. I'll always be here for you. As always and it's my choice.
There will bound to be a time when I have no choice but to leave your life but you will always remain in mine, even on the smallest way.
Good luck for tmr. :')

);

fked up.

JC is really the time when I knew who my true friends are. Whether they will stand beside you through thick and thin.
And I stop to think that sometimes, I'm often being used. Sad to say I haven't found a friend whom I can trust forever, completely. ):

At times, promises are meant to be broken.
I learnt that nothing lasts forever.

Tonight is the last night I keep thinking of you.
For 283 days, you were my sweet dream at night, you were the first thing I woke up to and last thing before I go to sleep.
Now I can safely say good bye. Bye to my best friend. Indeed it was so wasted ):

Hope that one day everything will be well again.

I was blinded by love

Today, 21 February 2012. I'm finally over you.
I'm happy that you found another girl who can bring you happiness. It has always been what I wanted for you- to be happy.
Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. To put my heavy heart down and carry on appreciating the other details in life that I've missed out.
I can't believe you lied to me. You could just tell me you didn't love me anymore, not keep playing and cheating on me.
I really can't stand how you can do this to me even at the very end. So sad to say our relationship was nothing to you at all.

I'm over you. A levels. I'm so gonna do well (:
FINALLY. phew! You were a heavy heart to carry.

It's the sad truth. I can't imagine kissing anyone else, other than you this life.
Happy valentine's!

And I thought it would be our first valetine's :'|
Listening to whitney houston's songs love hurts and it is so beautiful

There really can be miracles in life to people out there.
I had mine last year :') and every one of us are a miracle ourselves too.

I just wanna say I miss you. I don't want anything this valentines, I just want you back.
I know this life it's impossible already ):

There can be miracles if you believe, trust me. There really are miracles.

I refuse to get over you. I really don't want.
I don't want to accept the fact that I'm left with no choice.
But at least this life I found you <3

I look at the moon tonight and the stars shining bright- I thought of us.
Never this life again but I have no regrets (:

All happy things come to an end

So Chingay 2012 is overrrrrrrrrr in a blink of an eye.
Should be doing homework now, but lemme do this reflection first since last night was too shagged.

Honestly, one of the biggest reasons why I joined Chingay was to get over him. Try to forget the love I loved most.
I couldn't understand why he could get over me so easily when I dreamt of him every night and pictured him first thing in mornings.
Then my Chingay friend, Michelle told me. If someone let you go so easily, he definitely isn't worth it.
But during trainings from the very start when I felt lonely I started to stare the moon and think of him again.
The theme for Chingay is "Love, Care and Kindness everywhere" and the SOKA item....

SOKA item before finale
It was really very meaningful. There was free expression section of the dance where each and every one of us portrayed our own struggles
that we are facing. I really dance my heart out since I was used to my contemp style. I could feel the pains and struggles of those around me.
Then, the music changed. We triumphed over our challenges! It was the tribal dance. Really smiled until my cheeks got numb HAHAHA!
Somehow I could really relate to the dance.

Another meaningful experience for me was...
Fire torch item at the beggining of the show!
We did it together with hwachong MAD dancers some of whom I met during dance camp.
Secretly I was hoping I could do the pas de deux also the girls looked so pretty just above the water.
The fire torch really meant a lot to me.
During rehearsals, my torch didn't light up countless of times. I thought I would be doomed, during the real show what would happen?
I began to doubt my faith. I remembered once, my friend Michelle again tried fervently to light up my unlit torch.
Then, I really felt true friendship. Also another close friend that I made was Weixian. We would meet up and go for trainings together (:
I'm really thankful I made a good friend like her. It was the full dress. The two standing in front and behind of me couldn't light their torches as they didn't bring safety goggles. However, mine couldn't lit up but they asked us to continue to prevent those behind from lagging.
My heart broke because I chanted for the fire to light. What made things worst was that I was feeling sick/ feverish. ALSO. those in the audience kind of laughed and I heard comments "Why didn't your fire light up?" I was tearing behind my goggles. But this taught me no matter the humiliation by others, some times you are just alone you have to stay strong. I will.
The actual show yesterday. I was glad that my prayers got answered. My torch lit up easily. It was burning with passion.
I also managed to keep my smile throughout hope we wowed the audience. However when the motorcyclists passed us, a heavy wind swept through us, our flame grew weaker almost going to be extinguished. But not only did mine not extinguish, I created that flowy effect which made my flame look stronger. When I was walking to the end of the platform, my fire was so small but it reminded me during my life problems, there's still a little hope in the darkest of dusk. Dawn will always come.
When my fire finally got extinguished by the personnel. I cheered so hard! Other people thought it wasjust a simple task but to me it's more than that. I felt a sense of accomplishment and also, all good things must come to an end.

Just like how life is, all of us will one day reach the end of the road.
It is how you live your life. How before you sleep, you can say "I have no regrets".
Chingay 2012 will always have a place in my heart.

Maybe Chingay kept me so occupied I forgot a lot of my personal problems. I remembered when we were still together he told me after Chingay next year I will go and find you. I had my hopes high. Anyways, I was overjoyed once. Yes, still, no regrets that I love you.

Wake up call for me to live life to the fullest.

Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you baby.

1st feb ♥

You're definitely worth waiting for.
I didn't stop loving you since that day. My love for you just grew stronger.

♥

Thank you for the memories.
Because even all the money in the world can't buy fate. (:

I really didn't know I would lose you.
I put all my faith and trust thinking we would last to the very last day of our lives.
You ever told me you never ever ever want to lose me too. You also told me you never ever wanted to break up with me. I smiled to myself when you said that because I knew that this life, that person was you. Now, I don't know when you are speaking the truth, which words exactly comes out from your heart. I totally believed in you and I felt the same way too. Well, at least I thought I felt the same way as you. You make me doubt people now for what they say. And sometimes no matter how hard I try to, I can hardly trust what people say anymore.
It's already been 3-4 (?) months, I don't bother counting already. Last time, I counted days reminding me of how wonderful life was, our 100th day, 200th day. (: Today is actually 257th day since I met you. But all these are not important now.
What I want in life is really very simple, I really don't want friends who come and go. If you do, I would rather be alone, forever then feel the hurt. They seldom stay for long. SO! Those who are friends for like 10, 20 years. I'm jealous of you. You guys are so lucky. (:
Alright, I shouldn't make those who care for me upset. I will smile. :D
Today is a special day! (aL ^^)

I rather leave this life because I know I won't be able to be with you anymore.
I'd rather end this suffering and meet you next life again.
Even if I don't, well, there is still a possibility.

I really can't stand missing you so much.

Without you, I wouldn't know how much I could miss a person.
Even though you were right before me.
All I could see, is that we are miles apart.
I miss how you brought a smile on my face every single time you texted me.
For all of them were different but they never failed to make me happy.

I really miss you, I truly do.
I don't mind if you don't know, because what's left of you now in my life is just what's in my heart.

the end

Now it's only left with me.
You got over me and if I don't, I will be the only one suffering.

I wish you all the best and forever happiness. This is an end to a fairytale, end of all those dreams.
I'm partly happy cuz I feel a heavy load of my chest and maybe, my heart is starting to mend. However, I'm devastated that once again, I lost someone so important to me when I thought we were much stronger than what we are now.

Thank you for being part of my life. You changed me, my life, for the better (:

I hate waking up everyday because I have to face the reality that I'm no longer with you.
I miss you, I miss all those messages I miss how we updated each other with our lives.

It hurts my heart so much when I finally realized this life it's impossible to be with you anymore.