Christmas can be a lonely time 
whether you are young or old. 
Christmas can be lonely at times no matter young or old.
Others went to parties 
that I never got an invitation to. 
Even as I got older, 
the invitations were never there. 
I always went out on my own 
and watched from a distance at others having fun. 
No presents. No hugs.
Sometimes I could feel the tears welling up inside at being on my own especially at Christmas time. Especially when my love of my life left me this year.
If we didn't break up, I will probably by his side now.
They say it's all about love. I feel none at all.
I guess he's happy somewhere out there. Which makes part of me happy too.
If only he knew how much I think about him all the time. If only.
Always as Christmas appears no matter how happy I feel, 
I still remember 
those lonely ones I spent on my own.

I will always remember this year, 2011. The year I learnt what was trust, what love really means. How is it like to be there. Heartbreak.